I have just realized that I am worth a fortune: silver in my hair, gold in the teeth, stones in my kidneys, lead in my feet, and gas in my stomach.

I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old guy, but seeking out dear friends every day.

As soon as I awaken, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here, he takes a great deal of my time and attention. When he does finally leave, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to meet Ben Gay before heading off to bed.

Phew! What a life!

P.S.: The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, "Oh, I do that all the time! No matter where I am -- in the living room, at the store, in the kitchen, or doing the laundry, I ask myself all the time, 'What am I here after?'"